The photo above is of a Juvenile Wood Stork and a personal awakening. Here’s what happened. A flock flew in – adults, juveniles. They huddled, but this young one immediately hop-stepped to the pond. Just before I took this picture, its parent charged and squawked with big-deal heightened energy. Juvenile cowered in fear, yet stayed. Ten or so seconds later, that scuffle disappeared, and I took this photo.
Just like that. Calm, open. Being itself.
This young bird would remind me, again and again, to face, feel, and remember my basic nature as Terry* (and I) similarly and differently began the Bardo between our life together to the next. To rebirth - something already familiar in one breath to the next, moment to moment, yesterday to today.
In our shared life, Terry was a notice-er. I remembered a work trip to Italy, when we wandered the streets of many cities. I watched him pause and study flaking paint on cathedral doors and decaying and crumbling walls. Unlike others like me rushing off to take photos of iconic artworks such as Michelangelo’s David, The Leaning Tower of Pisa, or Florence’s Duomo Santa Maria, his eyes were drawn to the layers and dissolution. When he showed me the photographs, I realized the importance of slowing down. Teachers say speediness affects presence.
All of Terry's photos are here.
This might be too personal. It’s significant. Five days before the energy I knew as Terry continued, he surprised me late in the night. He woke from a sleep state and crawled partway into our bed. (His hospital bed was next to our bed.) The crown of our heads touched in the dark. I felt an exchange of energy as if I was dying, too, within a context of love. I experienced timelessness –an ineffable peace. A blessing for us?
I believe Terry is okay.
I’m okay, too.
Juvenile's practice is mine, and that late-night experience gives me confidence and devotion. Though mourning arises as it will, I'm waking up anew in response to it. Practice, being with wise teachers, trips to the planetarium to see a James Webb cosmos perspective crystalize the Four Thoughts. Pema Chodron’s book title and phrase, no time to lose, rings a bell for study and practice.
Sitting like bird fosters peace.
Onward…
* Terry (my beautiful husband) died peacefully October 29, 2023.
